I have not eaten meat for 8 days. That’s 24 meatless meals, friends. Plus snacks! Not that I’m regularly chomping down on steak as a snack, but you get my point. I am not pleased.
A couple weeks ago, my friend, Alicia, started having a crisis of conscience about her meat consumption. She had watched some documentary. Or maybe she watched the documentary because she was already feeling bad? Not important. What is important is that she saw some terrible animal abuse and couldn’t look at her turkey sandwich without feeling sad. Something about “eating fear.”
So I, being the supportive friend I am, said Hey! Let’s go meatless for the month of September. I thought I’d get to try some fun new vegetarian meals, maybe eat a little healthier, save some money from not buying meat. And I’m not a “big” meat eater, anyway. My husband and I eat lots of chickpeas and black beans and tofu.
By Day 3, I was willing to brutally murder every person in my family for a bite of a cheeseburger. I tried convincing Alicia to go get burgers with me, because I figured that I should probably pull her down with me. But she refused, despite my tantalizing texts describing the various burgers at Flip Side, a restaurant near us that uses Ohio-raised grass-fed beef. I then tried my sister, who was working, and my mother, who called me moments after getting my message.
“You know what your problem is?” she said, sounding like she had just discovered the secrets of the universe. “You always want what you can’t have!”
Like, duh? Isn’t that everyone ‘s problem? That’s humanity’s problem. That doesn’t make me want a burger any less. Giveithere.
My next move was to shovel some leftover risotto (made with chicken broth) into my mouth. In defiance. Defiance against myself, for forcing me into this challenge. For being the one to suggest it. What was I thinking?
Alicia gave me a pass on the risotto, so I sulkily ate my asparagus pasta at dinner, while watching Vegucated on Netflix with my husband. I was trying to give myself a meat-guilt complex so that I would no longer want a burger. But at the end I just wanted a burger made with humanely treated cows. Like, just be nice to them up to the point where you kill them to make me my dinner. A happy cow is a tasty cow.
Sorry, vegetarians. Not my bag. But, in the spirit of the challenge, I am slogging on with the meatlessness this month. I’m so glad I didn’t try to go vegan, because then I wouldn’t have been able to eat these waffles. I’ve already given up bacon, don’t take away my waffles. October 1? Bacon Waffles.
- 2 cups (240 g) fresh raspberries
- ¼ cup (50 grams) granulated sugar
- ¼ cup water
- 60 grams hazelnuts, plus more for serving
- 2 eggs, separated
- 2 cups (484 grams) buttermilk
- ⅓ cup vegetable oil
- 2 tablespoons hazelnut liqueur (Frangelico)
- 1 cup (120 grams) all-purpose flour
- ½ cup (64 grams) cornstarch
- 1 tablespoon baking powder
- ½ teaspoon salt
- 3 tablespoons sugar
- Combine raspberries, sugar, and water in a medium saucepan over medium heat. Cook until the berries start to break down and release their juices, stirring occasionally. You may want to crush the berries with your spoon as you stir, to make things more uniform. When desired consistency is reached, removed from heat and set aside.
- Preheat oven to 325° F. Spread hazelnuts on a baking sheet and toast for about 10 minutes in the oven, until fragrant. Remove and let cool.
- Preheat waffle iron. Pulse hazelnuts in a food processor until you achieve a powder-like consistency. Be careful not to overprocess or you will end up with hazelnut butter!
- In a large bowl, whisk together egg yolks, buttermilk, vegetable oil, and hazelnut liqueur. In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, cornstarch, baking powder, and salt. Set both bowls aside.
- In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment, beat egg whites and sugar until stiff peaks form.
- Add dry ingredients to buttermilk mixture and stir until just combined. Gently fold in egg whites until batter is uniform. Pour batter into waffle iron and cook according to the manufacturer's instructions.
- Serve with raspberry syrup from above (you can heat it up over the stove again if it is a little thick) and chopped hazelnuts.